It feels very silly to go through all of this trouble. To buy a domain, choose a site host, figure out a name. All to begin publishing a blog. Why didn’t I just start posting on “insert social media brand here”?
I did this to give every person that comes across my website a chance to read, discuss, even to inspire my words. I didn’t want to hide behind any type of algorithmic restrictions in order for my words to matter.
What exactly will I be talking about?
Magic, I suppose. Or, perhaps occult theory and practice? Developing probing questions related to esoteric knowledge and ideas? Tarot reading about alien abductions?
The answer is all of the above. I have a lot of thoughts (usually all at once) about multiple subjects that interests me. And the thought of putting my words into the massive universe that we call the internet started when I read “This Is Chaos: Embracing the Future of Magic”. Actually it really started after Peter J. Carroll died.
Let’s start from the beginning.
I’ve been around witchcraft, religion, supernatural weirdness, etc. all of my life. My family practiced brujeria and we were also Catholics. All of the members of my family have experienced ghostly interactions. My mom has even told me stories of seeing a UFO as a child! And I was always interested in magic specifically as a teenager.
I have a deep interest in all things that are yet to be known by current humans. Anything from other beings to other worlds to other dimensions. I’ve always been like this, then life got in the way. Eventually, work and family and health issues got in the way. The time that I spent learning and diving deeper into my curiosities were spent surviving capitalism and heartache.
But this year, in 2026, I made a promise to myself! I was going to make sure I prioritized my inner growth by gravitating to the things that I loved in the past. I browsed and joined different Reddit communities dedicate to magic, the occult, and different oddities. I had already been working on my tarot reading towards the end of 2025 as well.
I was ecstatic to finally be able to explore this side of myself.
One of the activities I remember enjoying in my teens was participating in a pagan/witchcraft based forum. It was a website that had different boards dedicate to different topic of discussions. For the life of me, I cannot remember the name of it and I have no clue if it still exists. But I thought Reddit would be my next best place to try to discover more of myself.
Remembering a section of the old forum was about chaos magic, I decided to also join that community. When I was a teen-ish girl, I vaguely recall being interested in the concept of chaos magic but was rather intimidated by it for some reason. I wish I had better memory because I find it to be such a core memory for who I am as a person right now, and possibly for who I end up becoming.
So, fast forward to April-ish of 2026.
I’m minding my own business at work scrolling through Reddit. My homepage shows me a post about Peter J. Carroll passing away. “A Pioneer for Chaos Magic.” So, this leads me back down the rabbit hole and I wonder if I’m ready to explore it yet.
My local library happened to have a few eBook editions of Carroll’s books but I started with “This Is Chaos: Embracing the Future of Magic”. I’m not really sure why. But that was my first, in depth, experience with chaos magic. The book itself was just fine. It’s been a few months since I read it and regretfully didn’t make notes. Perhaps, I will read it again and make a full post about my thoughts.
This book piqued my interests enough for me to also go on and read “Liber Null & Pscyhonaut”. I believe the version I read was one of the most recent editions. Again, sadly no notes but I will be purchasing my own copy very soon and definitely creating a post about it. What I found to appreciate in both books was the sense that I can achieve my own inner peace through my own power.
Something sparkled within me.
It made me actually move. Start buckling down and being intentional about my spiritual journey. I wanted to be mentally and physically happy and healthy in the now, not some undetermined future. But what I also wanted was for others to be able to experience the same ability and freedom to discuss our thoughts. I know I’m not alone in how I think and what I want to explore.
However, I am also aware of the dead internet theory and wanted to do my own part to combat it. Hence, creating my own website under my own terms.
Can you tell this was a little bit impulsive?
Look, I’m not perfect. I’m just human. I’ve had this idea for months. To start a blog and talk about different things that interests me. To start an online community of like minded friends and other enthusiasts. But I kept putting it off. So one day at work, something made me just start up this account.
It still took a few weeks for me to actually get the domain started and post anything but it’s a start! And a planted seed that I will put my thoughts into words and create a space for people like me.
So I guess that’s the story.
Why I started this mess and why I’ll continue to add to it. I’d love it if you wanted to stay on this weird winding journey with me, but I also understand if it’s not your thing.
I won’t promise you any consistent postings or some free eBook to get you hooked. But I can promise to be truthful and transparent about my own thoughts, speculations, and research that I will conduct into different subjects.
Thanks so much if you’ve read this far!